The Great Convergence of the Ill-Used Women

One of the people who kept me sane during the years of Hubby the Alcoholic and then continued to lift me out of my doldrums after his death and show me how to have fun is my roommate from college (I will call her "Roomie"). Roomie is a brilliant scholar, a college professor and dean, who really knows how to have fun. She is basically a small town southern gal at heart just like I am despite our highly-vaunted college degrees and jobs and such. This is what I love about her - she understands how I can get into both Stockhausen and AC/DC, art films and Transformers, classical and KISS. I love a fine wine but I love a cool 1960's Camaro with a hot engine at a bonfire on the lakeshore even more…. Roomie has been ill-used by men. This was constant during our time together in college and beyond. Her husband left her for a graduate student - left his beautiful, intelligent, big-hearted wife for a grad student…ah well…. I see Roomie a lot.

Now my second closest female friend is moving back into my town. I will call her "High School Besty". Brilliant vocalist, award-winning choir director got a job at a big high school near me. Also a small-town southern gal. Moving here this weekend. Besty has also been "ill-used". Was on the losing side of a divorce. So it goes. I plan on seeing Besty a lot.

And though I scarcely consider myself a "victim" I guess I must admit to being "ill-used". Because everyone who is manipulated by an alcoholic is ill-used. I know…you are only manipulated if you let yourself be manipulated, but it often takes awhile for us to figure it out! The alcoholic uses you (and your money and your kids and your life) all up until you figure it out either on your own or with the help of a support group or therapist.

I look forward to this gathering of ill-used women that I see happening soon in my future. Not so that we can sit around and moan and groan (none of us are moaners and groaners) but simply so that we can have some fun. We are talented, intelligent, healthy, good-looking women. By being so capable we became our worst enemies; the users were drawn to us because we could prop them up. We are smarter now. We can still have a good time and we deserve it. Cue the AC/DC...

That's all.