Sorry for the surfeit of posts; this summer has proven to be quite busy and I don't have as much time to reflect and relax as I would wish. Which brings me to my topic today. Living with an alcoholic is a real drag. They are NOT fun folks at all; after all, if they were happy and having fun and enjoying life, they would be alcoholics/addicts, right?
I will say that Hubby and I did not have a very "fun" married life ever. We had it pretty hard primarily due to financial and health woes. No honeymoon, no get-aways to Cancun while doting grandparents cared for the kids, barely even nights out to eat. Right after our marriage we went straight to graduate school which is guaranteed to make you poor (but we were happy there - go figure!) and then I got my first round of cancer and then we had a preemie child and then Hubby had to have congenital heart issues fixed...we spent much of our 25 years actually grinding away just to pay medical bills. Even with insurance, I did an audit of our marriage expenses one time and discovered that we paid over $100,000 worth of medical bills in our 25 year marriage. So...Hubby and I didn't ever really learn to "have fun". We were too busy surviving. By the way - our response to this difficult life was completely different. I am the "if it doesn't kill you then it makes you stronger" type of person and Hubby was the "every bad happens to me/us and we can never win and everything sucks" type of person. Which was a big contributing factor to his alcoholism, I believe.
One of the reasons I have not written is because my sons and I went to Disney World and Florida for two weeks! Quite the experience for us! During the first two days the three of us competed in an international karate tournament (and won some awards!)
After that was done, we woke up the next morning completely unable to determine what to do! Here we were at Disney World - the most fun place in the universe supposedly! And we had 4 days worth of tickets to all the parks! And yet - the three of us were at a total loss where to start! The boys wanted to sleep in more so I told them, "You stay here. I will go get breakfast and sit here with these brochures and figure out how to have fun!" When I came back from breakfast, I had a "fun plan" at least and as we started going to parks and seeing things and riding rides...it gradually dawned on us that we were having fun! Really - honestly - for the first time in our lives!
We spent the entire time slightly bemused. The idea of having not a care in the world and just enjoying pleasurable things was amazing but a bit discomfiting as well. When we returned, we all agreed that THIS was what a VACATION was supposed to be!
When life with your alcoholic becomes an utter and complete drag, don't forget to have fun. You may have to go to Disney World; if so - then GO! I did not realize this and the boys and I have spent too many years not having any fun. We have got a lot of catching up to do! And it is going to be...FUN!
I'm glad that you are now having fun and doing what you want to do. It sounds as if you have to learn to really have fun and that you are making progress in that direction.
ReplyDelete